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SOME QUESTIONS

SOME ANSWERS

DEEPER ANSWERS

• How do you feel when an office co-worker is promoted instead of you. Now he is your supervisor! • How do you feel when your neighbor is remodeling his house, adding on rooms, and practically doubling the size of his place. But you don't have the space to add on - or the money! • How do you feel when the person in line right in front of you won the big door prize, and you think you were there first! • How do you feel at a fancy party when someone else is wearing the same thing you are, and you think they're getting more compliments!

One of the really great things about living with Torah is you have ways to understand and cope with challenging life experiences. Regarding the questions we posed, the answer to all of them, and the way to cool off explosive emotions is to sincerely be happy for the success of others Jews. The Jewish People, Yidden, "Klal Yisrael", "Am Yisrael", or whatever you call us are one entity, but subdivided into lots of separate bodies, for reasons G-d understands. But, at our highest spiritual origin we are unified. Another Jew's good fortune is certainly a reason for you to be happy. Say to yourself "I'm glad this good thing exists in Klal Yisrael." And, don't imagine that someone's success came at your expense, for it's a known principle of existence that G-d gives everyone exactly what they need when it is essential for their lives. Another "G-d rule" regarding our existence is "If it Could be better, it Would be better". G-d does not hold back goodness from a person if there is merit in that person. Our challenges are gifts to help us grow. So judge everyone, and every situation favorably. And to fortify your relationship with G-d, "judge" G-d favorably since He is the writer and director of this story called existence.

The notion of "judging" G-d favorably means we are firm and unshifting in our Emunah (faith based on knowledge) and Bitachon (ability to act based on that Emunah), that G-d knows how to run His world better than we do. To use a metaphor, if G-d is the "author" of creation, we're just characters on the page. Can a character have any knowledge of the author who wrote him in to existence? Absurd. But, since G-d "sees" all existence from a vantage point outside the system of creation, He can orchestrate all world events as He continually creates the system. (the mind boggles as it tries to grasp this). Now we can see how Jewish Unity is more that a social or political cause. Our one-ness as a people actually refers to our spiritual origins. So, if, Dear Fellow Jew, you can cry for the cruel suffering we endured in the Holocaust, and feel deeply what it must have been like, it means you somehow relate to those Jews who perished at the time. You feel what they felt, to some degree. You understand there are deeper aspects to the Jewish people that bind us through the generations. Today, right now, uproot the jealousy that could trickle in to your heart when a co-worker is promoted instead of you, or when your neighbor renovates his house, or when someone else wins the prize, or when someone else gets a compliment. Be happy for the success of others because their good fortune brings simcha to the whole nation.

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TRY THIS

WHY IT HELPS

DEEPER MEANINGS

Give G-d a joyous prayer of thanks you are not famous, rich or influential. The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

We could write for years on this one and never cover it fully. The main points: • Be glad you have your anonymity. • Be glad your life's story can unfold and evolve free of world attention. • Be glad you can share precious, private moments with your family. • Be glad you're wonderfully average in most every way, without false dreams of endless health & good looks, and without the false confidence "financial security" provides. The benefit of being average is you are forced to pray, and thus develop a relationship with G-d. Because when you leave this world nothing goes with you. Not your good looks, wealth, spouse or iPod. Your only "escorts" are your good deeds -- the spiritual improvements you made while in this world. Be glad you are free of the worries, anxiety and neurosies of celebrities, sports figures, the famous, rich & powerful who get much more attention than they deserve, and who contribute little to your inner self and personal needs. And what is the end of the famous? In their decline (usually through their own misdeeds) they suffer at the hands of the press and the media who made them famous to begin with! If any celebrities, sports figures, rich, or famous people would like to post their thoughts, please send an email and we'll post them anonymously.

The writer of this article spent several years in L.A. working at one of the Big Movie Studios and a smaller sitcom company. With rare exception, most everyone, from the top on down was strange, unhappy, or downright nasty. Here are but some, for your consideration: • Former Very famous female star has since declined and decayed to a point where her once sultry voice is now a mere smoker's-rasp. Has been trying for years to find work. • Former, very famous sitcom star, whose public image was one of educated maturity throws a huge, loud tantrum at an exclusive Mercedez repair shop over an almost insignificant problem. • Former star in the early 70's had a TV series that lasted only 5 episodes. Hasn't had a decent job since, but can't get the acting-bug out of his system. Forced to jump at any part his manager can find him. • This one was such a shocking insult, I can't even believe it was said to me. I found out years later this well-known non-Jewish voice-over "talent" is known for his sizzling temper. I saw him in a Los Angeles television production office one day. Now, in Hollywood everyone is all friendly and smiles (at least on the outside), since you never know where your next job may come from. Recognizing this person, I said in a friendly voice "Hello -----!". He turned, looked me up and down, (he saw I looked like a Jew), and said "Do I know you?" I said no. He shot back "Good. Let's keep it that way!" It was one of my first anti-semitic experiences. • Let's end with this one. I found it sad. I was sitting having my lunch one day and a young woman whom I recognized, but didn't know by name was sitting at the next table, crying, and visibly shaken. I didn't look at her, knowing everyone needs their space, even though a public cafeteria is a strange place to have a good cry. After many more minutes of her tears I decided to break the ice (this happened about 22 years ago. I hope I can remember the exact words) . "I'm sorry you're upset. Can I help?" She paused and began to cry even more! So much for being helpful. She quieted and asked "Do you know who I am?" I said no. She asked "You don't know anything about me?" I replied no. She said "So you don't know who my father is. It's better that way." I must have looked like a good listener, because she opened up to ease her heart. "We had everything growing up. Lived in a mansion -- a big one. All us kids each had our own wing. We had horses and riding grounds. Daddy gave us each our own horse with our own stableman. On birthdays he had a toystore bring us tons of toys to pick. We couldn't go out on our own -- he was afraid it wasn't safe." I tried to put a positive spin on things. "Sounds like your father took care of you. Why are you sad?" She began to cry again. "I don't have any friends! I don't know who I can trust! I don't know who is friendly because of who I am as a person, or because of the money! I don't have a life - I never will!!!" More tears. We opened this article by suggesting you can improve and increase your relationship with G-d by giving prayers of thanks for being just who you are. Our sages say a truly happy person is one who is content with his portion in life. You can be happy about this right now.

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TRY THIS

REMEMBER THIS

DEEPER MEANINGS

Become a banker. Invest in your future. Make a charity box (tzedaka box) in your house, and give a coin every day. (hey, not on Shabbat!)

And the most important thing to remember is to EMPTY the box regularly and give it to a needy Jewish charity, because a box of coins on the shelf does nothing. Nada. Zip - until it is in the hands of the needy people.

There once was a well intended husband and wife who were diligent in the mitzvah of tzedaka. They proudly showed me the coins they had given over the years. But all the coins were still in the boxes they had set aside! None of them had been actually given to a charity. Now realizing their error they gave the coins to a very worthy cause, VERY quickly. Bless them. Let us add, Jewish charity should go to Jewish causes, and to the most needy ones you can find. You can make a second charity box if you want to help Save The Seals, the rainforests or any other thing you're into. But if you want to do a Jewish "thing", give your tzedaka dollars to the neediest Jewish causes you can find. Don't know of any? Email us and we'll tell you how to get your charity dollars to Israel to help the really poor of the holy land, with 0% taken off for any other expenses. Many US charity offices take money off for the secretary, percolator, electricity, etc. Now is the time to generate more and more mitzvot. Don't delay on this one.